Being an Ally Is Simpler Than You Think

Allyship isn’t complicated. The small, everyday micro changes that cost nothing and help everyone do their best work.

The final episode in the neurodiversity series I ran last year with Neurobox brought everything back to the everyday. Not policy. Not formal processes. Just us, as colleagues, and the small choices we make about how we communicate, how we show up, and whether we create the kind of environment where people feel safe to be themselves.

Donna, head of training at Neurobox, talked about what she calls micro changes. These are the tiny adjustments that cost nothing and benefit everybody, but are particularly valuable for neurodivergent colleagues. Sharing an agenda before a meeting rather than just dropping it in the diary. Following up with notes afterwards. Being clear about what you are asking someone to do and when you need it by. Chunking information in emails. Checking in mid-conversation to make sure what you have said has landed. These are not accommodations. They are just good practice.

We had a question come in during the session that I think a lot of people have wondered about but not felt comfortable asking: is it okay to ask a colleague about their neurodivergence? The honest answer is that it is generally better not to ask directly. The ideal is that someone shares of their own volition, and the way to make that more likely is to signal that you are a safe person to share with. You can do that by showing genuine interest in neurodiversity generally, by being thoughtful in how you communicate, and by making clear in how you behave that difference is welcome rather than managed.

Donna also talked about genuine allyship, and I thought her definition was worth sharing. She said allyship is showing up for each other. It involves three things: getting educated, standing alongside people, and making a difference in whatever way you can, whether that is raising awareness in your team, sharing something you have found useful, or just speaking up when you see something that is not right.

One thing that came up which I had not thought about before was the idea of normalising conversations through lived experience. Training does not have to be a formal session with someone at the front of a room. It can be a colleague sharing their experience over lunch. It can be a video you watched and passed on. Donna mentioned the phrase from the disabled community: nothing about us without us. Awareness campaigns that do not involve the voices of neurodivergent people are missing the most important part.

We also touched on something that often gets overlooked: you do not need a formal diagnosis in order to share that you are neurodivergent, and organisations are legally required to respond accordingly under the Equality Act. Self-disclosure is enough. Many people either do not have a diagnosis or are still on a waiting list, and they still have the same rights and the same need for support. It is worth making sure that message is clear in your organisation.

The closing thought from Donna was one I want to leave you with too. When organisations create a genuinely celebratory culture around difference, people share. They share because they feel safe. And when they share, everyone benefits, because adjustments get made, performance improves, and the team gets access to perspectives and ways of thinking that would otherwise stay hidden.

That is what this series has really been about for me. Not compliance. Not a tick-box exercise. Just creating the conditions in which everyone can do their best work.

Thank you to everyone who has followed along with this series and to Neurobox for sharing their knowledge and experience with our community. If any of this has sparked something for you, I would love to hear where you are taking it.

Jacquelyn Mahoney
HR Partnerships Manager | Connecting and Supporting HR Professionals across Cambridgeshire and Peterborough